Send Them Away!!!!!!

If you read F.I.B on a somewhat regular basis you are aware that I am in the midst of the never-ending task of attempting to empty out my dearly missed pack rat of a Grandmother’s small two bedroom apartment out in Queens. So, as a result I have been taking some mighty long subway journeys. One hour and 45 minutes each way. In case you are wondering, no, I didn’t find any other family members hair this time. Today it was sewing supplies, religious articles, miscellaneous doo dads, bagging what gets donated, thrown out, taken home or set aside for people. It’s A LOT of work and currently,after working on it for over a month, the apartment SORT of looks like what a normal person would have in their home if they lived there for maybe ten years. We found a music box and it’s song has become the theme song of our project. A song so stirring that it gives us the the momentum to continue. And what is the song? Of course it's the “The Impossible Dream” from the musical “The Man of La Mancha”.

So, on my trip home I want nothing more than to have an eventless journey. I planned on using the time to sleep so I would have the energy to go out tonight.


At 23rd Street a couple enters the train with THE BIGGEST STROLLER I HAVE EVER SEEN. I am NOT kidding, it was almost wider than the subway doors! I watched them attempt to find a place to park that mother while bumping into people without apologizing. I am praying, I mean PRAYING that they don’t come near me. Well, you know, of course they did. Why didn’t I move you say? I was bone tired, there were no other seats in the car and also because I became TRAPPED by a doublewide SUV baby stroller and two annoying parents. The father is sitting next to me, with his legs wide open (of course) playing with the baby. Question, why couldn’t they each just take a small stroller if they were taking the train or throw the kids in one of those sling things OR even better take a FRIGGIN' CAB?!

Self involved, self-important and couldn’t even acknowledge a forlorn looking kid of about 7 years of age in raggedy clothes who approached them to buy candy for a dollar. The stroller or rather CHARIOT that they were chauffering their kids in cost $729.00!

You know I have nothing against kids. I actually work with kids and also the elderly and most of the time we get along famously. It’s the parents I have a problem with. Just as a violent and stupid parent models behavior that makes their kids most likely the same, so do these self involved, affluent parents.

It would be great if they could be sent away like in that movie "Wild in the Streets", although sad to say I am now of the age to be sent away too! But they have to be in the SUV stoller parent section of the camp far away from me!

It’s little moments like these that really try my faith in humanity. I never thought I'd be a stroller basher. Why? Because it's just too easy as they totally set themselves up for it. I found that listening to Max Frost helped calm me down and reinstall a feeling of hope for the future. Enjoy and may you all have no run ins with the stroller squad tomorrow.


ChickenUnderwear said...

I used to push my twins in the BabyJogger TwinJet with upgraded (larger) wheels. We went all over NYC by subway. I always stayed at the end of the subway car and never spread my legs. I don't know why I am telling you this but I am just sorry you had a bad day. Anyway most parents of twins don't own a single stroller and we can't take cabs, they don't have booster seats

Lisanne said...

I guess I was unfortunately sitting in the end of the subway car...i mean this thing was HUGE. like wheeling a baby grand piano onto the train..you sound like a more grounded considerate person than this family..

The couple was sooooo oblivious to everyone..we were in their world. I felt if they can afford that thing..they can afford to not take it on the subway.
The kids were infants..for Christs sake, maybe 2 months old each..no need for that Esplanade on public transportation!

and also the indifference to the kid that walked up to them was appalling...

Anonymous said...

My fear: with the obesity epidemic ballooning (oh, yeah, pun intended, sorry) these strollers will have to become even bigger to accomodate plumped out offspring. So either they won't be able to fit through the doors or thngs are going to get a little more snug on the F train. (And yes, by F train, I mean Fat train.)

I guess this is a little off topic, but I just ate a Kit Kat bar and th sugar is going to my head.

Also: to the woman above.... I'm sure your a very considerate person, and I'm sure there's a lot more pram pushers out there who've never run over anyone's foot on 7th Ave. in Park Slope. But you know, there is a lot of people out there - both the stroller and non-stroller set alike - who imagine themselves to be they only ones entitled to a little elbow room. So, can't we all just get along?

Besides, circling back to my beginning, it's only a matter of time until half the population is too fat to walk around and will have to be pushed around in adult-size carriages. I plan to order one for my own fat ass as soon Ikea or some other such crap store starts selling them. So watch your toes and get out of my way!

That's all I got to say.

Anonymous said...

Oops. I meant to say "to the man above." I apologize. I am not only a lardass waiting for grown up pram, but I am sexist to boot. My day is ruined. Damn it.

Anonymous said...

It is very hard to have a baby/especially twins in the subways that are dirty and falling appart, without any elevators; I mean It is really CRAZY for the parents and often nobody even offer the seat. I was working till the last week of my pregnancy, and It was probably the hottest summer in the city, and I had to ride on 3 trains to my job and back, and NEVER had anyone giving up his/her seat for me a visible pregnant...and I still think this city contains a bunch of animals (not to put any animals down), I just can't wait to move somewhere else, for I do not want my kid to be a part of this zoo.
As well as I was call a B.... by some teenager, while walking with a stroller since I guess I took too much space on the street, as well as I was with my partner who could have broke her bones for saying that, yet he just ignored it...there are just toooo many ignorant and uncivilized people in the city...yet I did travell and this is the worst city...at least when it comes to the public transportation...